Blog Break!

Going to India for a week (Kerala to be specific)...out of the blogosphere for me.

Admit One to Doha

Lots of travel books describe Doha as a kind of Disneyland of the Arab world. The other day, I realized those books are right. I was sitting on a bus outside the Doha Port, waiting to be transported from the Port entrance to a floating book festival (you can see it already, right? Floating book festival?) and I couldn't stop myself from saying out loud, "We're living in an imaginary place. Do you ever feel like we're living in a pretend world, Alex?"

Thinking about it then, we came to the realization that it's true. Life here is like living in a theme park- an expensive one. With a lot of rules. Where lots of exciting looking rides are still under construction. Except you always wait in line for these rides, assuming they are open because the theme park is, and no one tells you otherwise until you get to the front of the line only to find a big sign that says CLOSED! Sometimes the sign isn't even there, the gate is just locked up instead. And the rides that are open are the ones you've been on dozens of times already. It's not that those rides aren't fun, it's just that you've ridden them every day since you've been to Dohaland.

Thus my presence on (and rapid departure from) a ship of books that quite possibly a Mission ship.

Stockholm Syndrome

Daily occurrence:

Me: Zero, One, Two, Three, Four...yes, Mariam? Is this an emergency? Are you bleeding? You have to go to the bathroom?
Mariam: Miss Batreesa, I love you!
Me: *Sigh* Thank you, Mariam. I love you too. Five, Six...

*Two hours later*

Me: [Bending over to a child's table erasing something] Yes, this is ok, but can you try again? Yes? Again?
*Knocked off balance by a swarm of children beneath my knees, calves, shins,etc.
Chorus of shouts: Miss Batreesa! I love you! I like you! Miss Batreesa, I love you ONE HUNDRED! Teacher, I love you ELEVEN! I love you EIGHT! I love you FOURTEEN! Teacher, I like you five!

I've decided that:
100 clearly means full marks
Eleven, eight, and fourteen are also pretty high in the scales. Considering we can only count to seven.
The dear child that said "I like you five!" is also going as high as he can intellectually fathom.


Unconditional love from children I hold hostage from 7 am until 2:10? Priceless.

Dismissal

2:10 pm.

Me: Waleed*, push in your chair and come! Islam, push in your chair and come! Rana, push in your chair and come! Rana? Rana! WHAT are you doing?
Rana: Washing my hands. [She's perched on a chair in front of the sink. With her (open) lunchbox dangling around her neck and some other child's jacket swung over her shoulders and pigtails.]
Rana's mother: [Shakes her head] God help you.
Me: Ha, ah, well... OMAR! WHAT IS THIS? Stop swinging your bag in the air- you will hit Reem! Sit down! ALI, sit down!
Rana's mother: You have children?
Me: Me? No, no. No children.
Rana's mother: I would like to see you have some after this job.

Me also.

Lions and Tigers and...Towers? Oh my.

So it's been a month since I've blogged and I apologize for those of you attempting to follow it. I feel as though I'm seven years old again, getting a new diary for my birthday, always writing that I never use diaries but THIS TIME, I will. The next entry generally followed 3 months later. Apparently my character has remained much the same since I was seven. At least I'm consistent. So apologies. But at least now there's more to update you on. I had an unexpected vacation last week- thank you Ministry of Education- so I went to Dubai for a few days. You know, no big deal. There seems to be a fixation in Dubai with the biggest, tallest, best, etc. It's Doha on steroids. We were in both the biggest mall and the tallest building in the WORLD. Did I mention they are connected? Compensating for something missing in the national psyche? Perhaps. The Burj Khalifa- tallest building in the world. The world. It's something like 852 meters high and the observation deck is 450 something. For those of you using the English system that's approximately 2500 and 1300 feet, respectively. The elevator ride took 60 seconds and felt like we weren't even moving. It actually towers over the other buildings in Dubai- many of which are skyscrapers. From the observation level, you can even catch a glimpse of The World, a man-made island development mirroring the Earth. Stop, I know. The World sits off the shore of Dubai. Literally no matter where you are in Dubai you can see this building. It's slightly ridiculous actually. Also, inside the Dubai Mall you can find: the entrance to the tallest building in the world, a fountain, a waterfall, an aquarium and underwater zoo, a gold souk, and an ice skating rink. Not to mention more shops and restaurants than you could shake a stick at. For those of you thinking, "What about the skiing in Dubai?" that's another shopping mall for another day. Also known as the Emirates Mall, which we also visited. Yes, you can ski indoors. Yes, there is a chairlift to the top. Yes, there are windows that overlook the shopping mall and restaurants. Exploring these two massive places consumed much of our time in Dubai, although we did take a trip to the Palm Jumeirah (another man-made island chain, this one shaped like a palm tree) and a failed trip to the souks. Most of the rest of our time was spent on the beach. Yes, I got a tan. In February. Take that New England.

And since returning from Dubai, I feel like I've lived through a special circle of hell accessible only to school teachers: the field trip. To possibly the most dreaded of all locations: the zoo. The zoo. With KG children. Sixteen of them. And no outside chaperones. Pure terror. Every possible scenario was haunting me for days. The week before, one boy raised his hand and in his British lilt lisps,
"Miss Patricia, Maybe we will see lions and tigers at the zoo?"
"Yes, Ali*, maybe."
"Miss Patricia, if we see the lions and the tigers perhaps I will open the door and put Rana* inside."
"Oh rea...ALI! That's not nice. We don't say things like that!"
Meanwhile Rana actually drives me to the brink of insanity and I turn to Miss Christine and couldn't stop myself from saying, "Me also." Fortunately for everyone, Rana did not attend.

Now the bus ride was hilarious. All they wanted to do was sing "The Wheels on the Bus." No surprise there considering we sing that song on a daily basis. All things said, the Doha Zoo is not the nicest place I've been here. Some of the animals were caged in very small and cage-y looking places. But the children really did love seeing the 'e-e-elephant!" and the 'g-g-giraffe!" and the 'z-z-zebra!" and especially the 'M-M-MONKEYS!" Not sure if I was more afraid of the monkeys inside or outside the cage. Especially once I bought a bag of popcorn and started feeding them- the ones outside the cage, that is. They loved it. I used to be terrified at the thought of taking my own children to public places for fear that I would lose them, but after taking sixteen children to the ZOO for the day, I think I might be able to handle anything that comes my way considering I'm not planning on becoming the next Mrs. Duggar.

Unfortunately, now the zoo is all they talk about. Much as I am relieved nothing went wrong and no children were eaten by lions or kidnapped by perverts, it's not an experience I would like to repeat any time soon. Yesterday a child said to me, "Teachel?! I want dough to da zoo adain! With you and Miss Kisstine"
Not for fame or money, small one. Not for fame or money.