...are the worst but are apparently one thing I share with my favorite literary heroine. You know how you can read a book eight times (do other people do this? no? just me?) and a passage will mean nothing and suddenly you read the book again and feel like you've never seen those exact words before? Every summer I read Jane Eyre and this time I was stuck on this passage:
"It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connexion, uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it: but then the throb of fear disturbs it..."
Granted I begin rather more fortunately than Jane, being not quite completely adrift from every connection, but it remains that this is more often than not where I have found myself floating in recent weeks. Some of you know how the uncertainties still abound: What exactly is my curriculum? Just where is my apartment precisely? How valid is a visa that you receive via email? Am I really about to be the TEACHER? These and various other un-realities are only contributing to the nagging throb of fear whispering "Surprise! We don't really have a job for you" - a phone call/message I think I will keep expecting to receive until I pass through customs and am finally in my (mysteriously located) apartment (and classroom) in Doha.
So thank you for capturing the essence of this moment best, Charlotte Bronte.
**I hope I haven't bored you and thanks for letting me pretend people besides Peter, Dominica, and my mom will be reading this site. I felt awkward writing this a. in general and b. before I left but would have felt more awkward sending out an empty blog website to people and then jumping into one once I arrived...so welcome to the circle of awkward that characterizes my life. Consider yourself privy to this final stateside moment of it for quite some time.
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